The Judgement

So this is the day that I so dreaded?

Feared, repulsed and held in awe so?

Is this what it was all about?

This dais? This theater where I feel the walls grow?

And you my dear lord; yes, you who stand above.

And watch the show in silence.

Never cry, never applaud,

not even scream at all the gore and violence!

And you say you hold

the right to pass judgement on me?

While you are just a critic

of an art that strives to break free

of the shackles

that this absurd audience puts on me.

It laughs when I am uncertain

and applauds when I present a tragedy.

Why should I hear their bickering?

Why? Why indeed!

Why should I even fear your judgement my lord?

Tell me, why? I plead.

Your name is enough to cause wars.

Your existence a debate.

Should the fear that you instill,

be the one that decides my fate?

Should you not be appreciating

whatever it is that I do?

Be not the critic but the director

and see that I act my role through.

But you choose to sit not nigh but high.

To pass a judgement. To tell me my end.

So I tell you lord, strike upon me with your verdict.

But until I get off the stage I shalt not bend.

World We Belong

Another of those restless nights

when time seems to stand,

and I head out, call a good friend of mine

to join me in the old town bar.

"What's up?" he asks,

Smirking as if he did not know

What troubled me could consume him

but I just smile and raise a brow.

To whom does the night belong?

To whom belong the stars?

Stare at the neon halos in silence,

search for the answers in my half filled glass;

The futile attempts of man,

to fathom the endless nature;

Smile as I see the irony

in how he worships his own grotesque caricature.

"Never will we give up, never will we die"

floats the anthem covering the planet in a smog.

"We got nukes, so screw you!"

I vividly picture the threatening holocaust,

offered as a penance for the crimes we done

and the rights we managed to be-wrong;

I lie back as I try to rid my thoughts

And sigh, such is the world that we belong.

Freebird? Indeed!

I choose a particularly unobvious topic this time around. Freedom. Freedom from tyranny, freedom from society, freedom from the system, freedom from relations, freedom from reality... Like Freddie (Mercury), wont we all like to break free? The answer, you might say, is obvious. Why of course, we need our freedom, we crave our freedom. But is it that obvious?

There happens to be a particularly interesting book that I am reading at the moment. "The New Russians" by Hedrick Smith. It talks of perestroika and glasnost. For the historically impaired, the political reforms in the USSR. To explain it shortly, USSR was a very closed country. For decades. Ruled by tsars and tyrants, it had bred a generation that was totally unaware of political freedom. Gorbachev tries to introduce his people to the face of democracy. And as history tells us, he succeeds.

One of the more troubling things about this book is the way in which the author rambles about the "wrongs" of the Soviet system and how people are reluctant to change to the "new and improved" political version of democracy. I believe he is totally out of place in making comparisons and criticising a system he was never rooted in. But more importantly, what I found extremely interesting was the way that people started abusing the new freedom that Gorbachev blessed them with.

Getting back into a context that most of you would appreciate, freedom is something of a powerful drug, if you allow me to make the absurd comparison. It is addictive, it sure is abused, and it is very hard to procure. But then the rebel in us always wants to know what it is that is being held from us. Why arent we allowed access to that drug? What could it possibly taste like? And then there are our fantasies of how we will enjoy ourselves if we actually manage to get our hands on it.

But sadly there are two things that we tend to ignore. Firstly, we tend to lose the appreciation for the things that we already have in place of freedom. These things differ with the change of context of freedom. But yes there are things that we ignore, or take for granted, which sadly are no longer there once we get our so anticipated freedom.

Secondly, there are the responsibilities that come along with the freedom. It's like the big instruction manual with the gadget you just ordered. You have to go through it before you can get the (darned) thing working. All the plans that you make with your freedom are left jammed in the middle of nowhere while you go along finishing off chores that you so wonderfully enjoyed when you were dependent on others to finish them off.

Sad, but independence is not always all rosy. perhaps a shade of red, but definitely not rosy. Freedom is something that isn't meant to be taken without prescription. There comes a time when you are prepared enough for it. And usually its there when you are ready.

But then it does not stop you from experimenting. Sure, go on, venture, take a walk on the wild side. But be grateful for what you have. Dependence is as good as independence, if not better in certain ways. [;)]

If this post did not make sense to you, then probably it wasn't meant for you. [:)]

Anyway, I would obviously appreciate your participation.

I'll end with a lovely song by The Who:

I'm free-I'm free,

And freedom tastes of reality,

I'm free-I'm free,

An' I'm waiting for you to follow me.

If I told you what it takes

to reach the highest high,

You'd laugh and say 'nothing's that simple'

But you've been told many times before

Messiahs pointed to the door

And no one had the guts to leave the temple!